The push for perfection and the reality of messiness.

When I began Hand in Hand Productions many years ago I was constantly pushing the envelope. I pushed hard to find better ways to do things. I then got scared. This fear drove me to keep things status quo for many years. I was comfortable doing what I knew. It’s not broken so no need to fix it. If anything this last year I found out that change can hit you like a freight train. Well maybe we don’t want to get hit, but it is coming and the light at the end of the tunnel will be here sooner than we know it or want it. See the freight train left the station many years ago for me. I just couldn’t hear it and I wasn’t in the darkness of the tunnel.

Yeah lot’s of metaphors to unpack here. When looking at my darkness it came from a couple of forms, personal and professional. I need to make it clear though my professional darkness was a result of my personal darkness. I will not be going into the details of my personal darkness in this post. It is safe to say though that like the announcement on the plane to put your oxygen mask on before helping someone else I was not doing that. While I was acting in selfish manners I was to outwardly facing and not taking a look at was going on in my own world and definitely needed that oxygen mask. I think this can be a moment that we can all relate to and it is important in these moments to stop the world going by and focus on yourself to get healthy. Truly dig in. Get some definition of what is important. My time took many years and I was truly stuck in the black tunnel. I was always just trying to find the way out, but could not because I had the lost the light. I don’t want it to seem like I was helpless. I was living, but I was not thriving. I truly believe we are built to love and thrive. I finally found the way out of the tunnel. I put the oxygen mask on and breathed the breath of life.

With the personal far from perfect (as there will never truly be perfection, more on that later) I began putting the business back together. I had no idea how badly I had been just to afraid to start something new. Experiment with making things better. I had no idea though the train was about to catch up with me. I was beginning to start to figure things out when a moment in time that changed the entire world caught up to me like everyone else. COVID was a game changer and as I turned to look into the tunnel that I had just left I saw that light at the other end of the tunnel coming straight at me. That light was a freight train that as an event production company looked like a complete collapse of business. The world dramatically changed and changed quick. I made a choice to not get flattened by the freight train, but to jump on and see where it was talking me.

Changes like going back to my roots of scrappiness. Things got messy. I decided since I had nothing better to do I would embrace my broadcast roots and started doing virtual interviews of people since I couldn’t interview them in person. It was a mess of ideas and emotions, and gear as well. I had to patch things together since I had a business that had gear focussed on doing live events in person. It was a learning curve, but man it was fun. I learned so much and adapted a new workflow for an evolving world that will probably never look the same with live events. We will now be in some sort of a virtual/hybrid world and the knowledge that I gained in those early days of virtual production have been crucial to the success of Hand in Hand Productions today.

Messiness is so helpful to get into both personally and in business. First, personally as if you truly aren’t looking at our messiness as an individual you may be missing what you are truly supposed to be doing with your life. You may also be not being your best self and living your life as a walking lifeless shell of yourself. It is in these moments of messiness that you learn about yourself. You learn about what it means to live life. Second, when looking at business I don’t want it to seem like you have to break something. Your business may be incredibly successful and you are a well oiled machine, but if nothing else this last year has taught us that we have to plan for everything. What if your entire customer base disappeared overnight. What does that look like for your business, or you as an employee within it? We as good humans owe it to each other to wade into the messiness as it truly is a rewarding experience. It sucks in the moment, but has so many great outcomes.

A new start to begin the end of the year

With a title like that, how can you not be confused? The reality is I stopped blogging this year and Seth Godin was in my ear all year. One word honestly is the reason why I stopped. 

FEAR

What in the heck would I be afraid of though? If I am doing what I love I am actually just sharing my knowledge. My thoughts on different subjects. What works and what doesn’t when it comes to AV and technology. Even sharing new ways. BUT…. The but is the voices saying that isn’t the right way to do it. The but is the trolls of the Internet. The but is honestly just in my head.

So I stopped because of fear. What if you could take all fear away and make a jump? What would you do today with no fear? Honestly, that is how we are most successful. Striving to make things better with lots of bumps and stumbles along the way. Zig Ziglar sums it up best,  “Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” Each time we fear the outcome we are taking away our own success. Yep that’s what I did. 

I have so many great ideas kicking around, but I stopped short of execution. I stopped short and became comfortable in what I know. Fearing the outcome I stopped reaching. I stopped growing in the large areas that I need to work on. I am sure all of us have had this from time to time. However, we don’t have to make it a reality.

So fear get out of my way and let’s end 2018 with the fresh start on 2019 before I get even there.

By the way here is what I am not getting afraid to get done:

  • Biweekly Podcast (Got any ideas)
  • Launch a series of how-tos that people can purchase
  • Loose 30 pounds
  • Become debt free (Yes I am a Dave Ramsey believer)
  • Complete 2 passion projects this year
    • One is a documentary on Visions of Hope
    • One is top secret

Time to start.

I have a confession

For quite sometime I have been dealing with a huge problem, but I had no idea. The bizarre thing about this problem is that most would think how could that even be a problem. It seems like it would be something that we all would want and even strive for. The challenge is when this problem kicks into overdrive it causes serious problems including self esteem, and for me just even dealing with the world. The problem stems from one word, and many people today have no clue how big of a problem just one simple word creates. That word is yes.

While yes by itself is not a problem, what stands behind it can be. If all that yes means for you is people will like me more, then you can relate to where I have been for most of my life. I sought out approval. I sought out the yes. You see for me it started at an early age, and is a story for another time, but in todays reality it has been a barrier. I lost my voice in the process of always saying yes. I lost my sense of balance. When you are always saying yes it becomes such a struggle to not get to such a high level of overcommitment that you have no where to turn. You begin to feel paralyzed at even calling a client and telling them of delays because you feel they won’t like you. You feel like you will have let them down. In reality you just are letting yourself down.

Saying no is tough because someone may not like us. In reality though we are just kidding ourselves. I struggled with this. How is it possible for someone to like us if we say no? I just did not understand it. Today I still struggle with it, but the reality is something that most of us forget about which is boundaries. We want to do so much that we get lost in the everythingness of just doing as much as possible, but in reality it is not a life worth living. It is living someone else’s life and not our own.

Enabling yourself to be happy and facing the dreaded no starts with your foundation. Who and what are you? Why do you exist? Why do you go to work? Why do you do what you do? Why are you?

For me the balance was shot. More work would be great. More income and better success. The reality is most of the time less is always more. Imagine if you are able to focus on just one thing today how much better you may be able to complete that task. Imagine if all you did today was focus on your relationship with your spouse, kids, relatives, or friends it will change your life. Saying no can help create balance and when you tell people that truly care about you that you need to think before you give them an answer it helps build respect.

I am not suggesting you say no to everything because remember your balance. Remember what matters most. Remember that life is not worth living by yourself, but with others around you and you certainly have to give back to whatever makes you who you are. The challenge for me though has been realizing that as long as I am treating each person with dignity and respect the no becomes less personal. My personal worth rests inside myself and not with others. I believe that for everyone. Find who you are and stop letting the no be so personal.

Define yourself.

For years I have been struggling to identify myself as a leader. A leader who can lead and affect change. Why?

I believed I was someone in reality I was not. I believed the words that were spoken to me by people in haste and anger instead of trust and understanding.

We believe these things to often. Words hurt. Words however do not define us. We define us.

How do you define yourself? Look at yourself 10 years from now and what do you want to be. Go do it! Take one step today in that direction.